She is the Queen of Random

When you think you should be better at everything in life than your little sister.

Siblings are competitive. This is just a natural fact of life, the same as breathing, the love you have for small furry creatures, and the yearning to be fabulously wealthy and stroll the beaches of your own private island. Or is that last part just me? I remember playing Street Fighter 2 on the Super Nintendo with my little sister. There I was, trying to be a serious student in the ways of Street Fighter, selecting my character with care (Ryu because I was still young in the ways of fighting), and very deliberately using strategy and the knowledge I had of Ryu's moves to turn myself into a punishment machine. Or so I imagined in my head, a little smile of satisfaction on my lips as I daydreamed about destroying all of my little sister's hopes and dreams through the avenue of video game violence. Does it seem like I cared about this a lot? Because I did. I wanted to crush her dreams and make her cry, and when she went wailing in despair to mommy and daddy, I could look at them with my innocent face and declare, "I didn't touch her, I swear! I just beat her at Street Fighter. Isn't she a big baby?" And of course they would nod in agreement, and tell me what an awesome big girl I was and then promptly go out and buy me a mountain of books...Wait, where was I, again? Oh yes, I was to be a Destroyer of Worlds, and the world I turned my laser-like attention to was my little sister's.

I had practiced quite a bit before I issued my formal challenge to my sister. I was pumped up and eager to smash all her smiles into sad little frowns. I was ready.

She then proceeded to choose Chun-Li. She mashed the buttons in a parody of a brilliant pianist in the throes of creative genius. Chun-Li flipped, kicked, and even helicoptered upside down in joyful abandonment across the TV screen. None of my carefully thought out war strategies could break the iron wall of Chun-Li's legs. None of my glorious counter-moves could stop the frantic majesty of my little sister's inspired button mashing. And it was truly inspiring. She kicked my ass. With little girl giggles and little girl smiles, she destroyed my world with a whole lot of mad-cap mashing.

That's when I realized I would never be the best at everything, even though I was three years older than her. It was a hard truth for a competitive sibling. It still resonates with me today. Why, you ask? Surely that was years ago in a galaxy far, far away? Yes, why yes it was. But I still do feel envious of my little sister. I love her dearly, and I am so proud of (and sometimes awed by) who she is and what she can do, but there are times when my appreciation for her is tinged with a ribbon (or river) of envy. 

"Draw me like one of your french girls".

-The Queen of Random

(Pictured: The Queen of Random's puppy)

Just so you know, my little sister has grown up and into the role of the Queen of Random in my corner of the universe, and we are all her adoring, yet slightly envious subjects. She can spout off the most amazing arbitrary comments that will make you either wish you had thought of that, or laugh until your sides hurt and wish you had thought of that. I bow down to Her Royal Highness Queen of Random, who is so fantastically better than I am at coming up with random ass things to say, that I can only shake my head in wonder and envy.

Love you, little sister.